100 Word Challenge
Sunday
Morning, April the 3rd started of as a regular day. Shower, breakfast
and then to work. But today I was told that there was a press conference in
Bristol, BS2 2D! Great George St. I was extremely excited! I ran to the coffee
shop across the road then quickly sprinted to the bus depot to buy my tickets
and get on the bus. I had to be on the bus at 0900 hours to take Bus 37. I had ten
minutes until the bus arrived... so in the meantime I went to the toilet.
But I thought
I had enough time…
Oh No! I’ve
missed the bus!
By Rohan
Hi Rohan,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you've incorporated the writing prompt into the end of your story. It's very funny! Your story is well-structured with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Your sentences vary nicely, and you've used correct punctuation, for the most part. Well done!
A couple of suggestions: "I was told" is a passive construction that doesn't let the reader know who told you about the press conference. You might want to replace that line with dialogue attributed to a particular person. Also, it would be helpful to let the reader know what the press conference is about, so we understand why you are so excited.
Nice work!
Jilanne (Team 100)