Thursday 12 June 2014
100 Word Challenge. Prompt #36. Josh
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down the hill. Jill followed. When they got to the bottom, Jack stumbled on a huge cream egg. When they looked around they saw hundreds of eggs. So they ran home and called the Police. When they went back there, there were heaps of construction workers lifting eggs onto trucks with cranes. There were Police cars every where and at the end of the paddock there was a cracked creme egg and it had cream oozing out. The egg had flies all over it!
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Hello Josh,
ReplyDeleteWhat a strange tale you tell. You have a wonderful imagination shown by being able to combine familiar characters from a nursery rhyme into a 100WC entry. You don’t offer us any explanation for the origin of the cream eggs and tease us with the reaction of police. I enjoy the chance to guess what might next happen.
Could this have been the beginning of an alien invasion? Was this the result of a clumsy, giant Easter Bunny? Were the flies around the broken egg really flies or some miniature secret robotic devices? You could take any number of directions from where you left off. Well done.
I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation. My only suggestion might be to consider the use of ”so” to start a sentence. It is more normally used to join sentences or phrases. Here is what I mean…
When they looked around they saw hundreds of eggs so they ran home and called the police.
I hope you can keep entering the 100WC.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia